Killing the annual Christmas Tree…….

Posted December 14, 2006 by waroc
Categories: Uncategorized

Cross Posted by stikNstein…has no mercy

We know some of you are not able (or willing) to deal with the hassle of Christmas tree shopping/installing/decorating……not to mention the mess of all those needles and tinsel when you have to take it down……..

Or maybe you’re one of those “LIVE tree” huggers that just can’t bring yourself to kill one for your holiday enjoyment.

Well, you probably realize the EPA has established new restrictions on the Bag Limits for wild Christmas Trees. Like many traditions that are tossed by the wayside in The War on Christmas…….Fewer and fewer Christmas tree hunters venture out after the first frost to hunt down and bag the limit of baby Frasier firs, White Pines, or even that elusive Colorado Blue Spruce.
And….. while rare….. you still may get a glimpse of a proud Dad driving home with that trophy tree strapped to the roof of the SUV

BUT MOSTLY….

THEY GROW ‘EM……LIKE CORN, PUMPKINS, AND,YES…BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

CORN:

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CHRISTMAS TREES:

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PUMPKINS:

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CHRISTMAS TREES:

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BRUSSEL SPROUTS:

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CHRISTMAS TREES:

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BUT

AS A SPECIAL SERVICE…..
TO MAINTAIN OUR NEUTRAL CREDIBILITY…..
AND DEMONSTRATE WE DON’T TAKE SIDES IN THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS…..

Exclusive at the Coalition Of the War On the War ON Christmas…..
We recuited a few of the laid off Congressional Page Tipline phone answerers and had them scour the internet just for you……
We at COWOWOC believe we have found the solution…….

_________________________________________

DON’T BELIEVE US?……HEH…….GO HERE FOR YOUR FREE TREE!
(DISCLAIMER: only a few trees were killed in this endeavor…..they are in your printer.)

This has been a presentation of the Coalition
Of the War On the War On Christmas.(COWOWOC)
We represent Dozens a gross of Bloggers who
will not stand buy and let the reason
for the season be.
(UNLESS YOU WORK AT BEST BUY)
If you would like to participate by crossposting
articles from your own blog….be on our blogroll, or invite us to be on FOX or CNN
CONTACT:
Dumb Ox News
OR
Stikguy at
stikguy@stiknstein.com

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A Good Christmas Tree?

Posted December 14, 2006 by dumb3ox
Categories: Uncategorized

Is there such a thing as a “good” Christmas tree? Whassat?Or are they all just lurking and waiting for their opporunity? Killer Christmas Trees … see the video!

CBS Clueless on Truce in War on Christmas

Posted December 14, 2006 by dumb3ox
Categories: Just an Asshat, Uncategorized

War? What war?

Somebody should have told CBS that the War on Christmas (let alone on Christians) had been called off this year!

“Joy to the world, I’m getting laid…” chimes Charlie Sheen on one of CBS’s lame-coms…

( Instead of “… the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King!)

“We’ll deck the halls, then play some jingle balls…” continues Sheen crooning.

The sleezy maid adds some more sick straight lines. Watch and enjoy!

Hmmm… What would Mohammed do indeed?

Cross-posted at Dumb Ox, at CBS’s War

War on Christmas

WWLRHD?

Posted December 14, 2006 by waroc
Categories: Holidays are for everyone

SacredA new ad campaign sponsored by “WakeUpWalMart.com,” an anti-WalMart organization backed by the United Food and Commercial Workers Union asks “Would Jesus shop at Wal-Mart?”

If you are like us, you are outraged that a mainstream labor organization purporting to represent 1.3 million hard-working Americans would use a sacred religious figure to peddle a partisan political message.

Not when there are dozens of other religions out there with their own revered figures being denied their fair share of public defilement.

People in this country must stop behaving as if Christianity is the only faith practiced by Americans and start broadening their exploitation to include messiahs of other religions whose specific views on modern secular topics can’t possibly be known all for the sole purpose of furthering personal agendas.

For instance, why not run an ad campaign that asks what the Prophet Muhammed would think of trimming producer costs through the outsourcing of production to China given scripture that clearly denounces current Export-Import Bank policies? Or how about using Joseph Smith to promote more attractive flex-time wellness programs and lower prescription drug co-payments?

Yes, before we can consider ourselves to be a truly inclusive society welcoming of all cultures and beliefs, we must be willing to open our hearts as well as our minds to those who have been traditionally marginalized by the broader culture.

And hijack a wide range of theological teachings in a craven attempt to manipulate those of faith purely for personal gain.

For too long have we ignored the possible contributions L. Ron Hubbard could make if only we would be willing to use his name in support of accelerated depreciation schedules for capital investments in ethanol production or the Buddhist principles that clearly underly support for indexing the Alternative Minimum Tax to the CPI.

Surely in this season of brotherly love we can find it in ourselves to reach out and look to other cultures for new and innovative ways to serve our own self interest.

J.

Cross posted at Planet Moron.

They’re baaa-aaack. (The trees, that is.)

Posted December 13, 2006 by waroc
Categories: Holidays are for everyone

Buttonmen1
In an act as insensitive as it was non-inclusive, workers atSeattle-Tacoma International Airport began yesterday to defy management’s edict that all offense-causing Christmas trees be removed from the facility and started setting up their own Christmas-centric displays.

These wholly unsanctioned artificial evergreens, displaying no respect whatsoever for the fact that they do not directly aid in the celebration of holidays that are not Christmas, started appearing in places such as ticket counters which are leased by private companies and so beyond the reach of airport management.

As one writer pointed out, this is an international airport and so we must remove these “jingoistic billboards or anything that may offend someone from another culture.” After all, the last thing we want visitors to America seeing when passing through an American airport is anything having to do with America.

Except maybe for Starbucks.

As reported here on WOWOC over the weekend, the original decision to remove the trees came about after local Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky questioned the fairness of using public space solely for a display that would appeal to, at best, 90% of the American public. He did this in that grandest and most universally acknowledged of American traditions: By threatening a lawsuit. However, many local Jewish leaders were not happy with Rabbi Bogomilsky’s actions and the potential backlash with one noting, “This we do not need. Carter was bad enough. Now we have this too?”

As a result, Rabbi Bogomilsky dropped his threat to sue. Airport management then brazenly ignored the 0.1% of email strongly endorsing their position to remove the trees and once again reversed their decision, ordering last night that the peripatetic plastic plants be restored to the airport.

In addition to the renewed possibility that countless handfuls of airport patrons might take offense at these overt symbols of Christmas (assuming they have time between taking off their shoes, stuffing their shampoo into clear Ziplock bags and bidding a tearful goodbye to their checked baggage), there is the fear that this rebellion might spread beyond the Seattle-Tacoma area. What if people in Portland started running around setting up Christmas trees at local airports? Already there have been tannenbaum sightings as far east as Denver International where a panic nearly broke out over an early report that an actual nativity scene had been spotted next to an Au Bon Pain (but that just turned out to be an Amish family with a basket of croissants).

Burnxmastree What can you personally do to help put an end to this growing conifer crisis? Remove anything on your own property that could possibly be mistaken for a Christmas tree. Do you have evergreens of any kind? Burn them down just to be safe and replace them with Japanese maples or maybe a nice secular azalea. Under no circumstance should you leave any errant branches lying around lest a passing international visitor or other non-Christmas-celebrating individual mistake them for a festive garland and feel assaulted by your offensive display of tenuously-associated religiosity. As a further precaution, red bows are also to be avoided as are sleighs, wrapped presents and anything starting with “Yule,” including “tide” and “log.”

And for God’s sake, remember, it’s “Happy Holidays,” NOT “Merry Christmas.”

Because the only way we can possibly begin to learn to treasure the rich tradition of other cultures is to do our very best to pretend that we don’t have any.

Cross posted at Planet Moron.

Skirmishes’ in the War on Christmas…..

Posted December 12, 2006 by waroc
Categories: Uncategorized

Cross Posted from stikNstein…has no mercy

As contributing members of the Coalition Of the War On the War On Christmas…..The stikNstien…..Dumb Ox News….Planet Moron…..And Woman Honor Thyself staffs of out of work Congressional pages has come across many interesting sites and informative links. Some are clearly involved in the War on Christmas…..some….well…. it probably depends on your world view…..or not……

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Here are a few:
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“Let our 10 years of experience show you how personalized a Santa Letter can be for your child! Children cherish every word in their letter from Santa and are so eager to “be a good girl or boy” or “clean up their room” when Santa asks.”

Want a letter from Santa?……Base Price $14.50
….HERE.
Seems a little pricy to us….but Santa will tell your child how to be a good boy or girl….Like “Santa wants you to wash daddy’s car every week.”

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What kind of Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?
Take the questionaire…….with such questions like:

You get someone a super cool gift, and they give you something incredibely thoughtless and cheap in return. How do you react?
A)You smile graciously, and pass the gift off to someone else.
B)You hardly even notice. It’s the thought that counts.
C)Say thanks but decide not to give that person a gift next year.
D)Make a bad face and put the gift out of sight
E)You trash it as soon as you can.
F)You thank the person but explain later that you think you should have gotten something better

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GOT A GREAT CHRISTMAS LIGHT DISPLAY? WANT TO BE ON A NATIONAL DATABASE? ATTRACT THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD?

Go to “MY CHRISTMAS WONDERLAND” and submit your address……
If your neighbors don’t already hate you they soon will…….

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cowboy.gifcowgirl.gifTOY GUN CITY…..

…..”Where Role Playing Adventures Begin”

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Then….there’s always “THE BLASPHEMY CHALLENGE”
Trade Your soul for a free DVD…( WARNING: people saying stuff that might get them struck by lightning)

Then again…..they say the free DVD makes a great stocking stuffer.
FROM…End Christmas.com

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NEED MORE VIDEO?…….RAPPIN BABY J…..IS HERE.

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Santa? or the NSA?
They both know how to get down your Chimney……..

This has been a presentation of the Coalition
Of the War On the War On Christmas.(COWOWOC)
We represent Dozens a gross of Bloggers who
will not stand buy and let the reason
for the season be.
(UNLESS YOU WORK AT BEST BUY)
If you would like to participate by crossposting
articles from your own blog….be on our blogroll, or invite us to be on FOX or CNN
CONTACT:
Dumb Ox News
OR
Stikguy at
stikguy@stiknstein.com

Cats make war on a Christmas tree…..

Posted December 12, 2006 by waroc
Categories: Uncategorized

 cat.JPG

It seems no aspect of Christmas is free from controversy. Fresh from a gig at the Tacoma Seattle Airport, where their special talent of tree building and dismantling was used, Iris and fern demonstrate their technique………

FIRST, START WITH A FAKE TREE

xmasbox.jpg

INSPECT IT CAREFULLY!

tree2.jpg

Once the tree has all its branches,
comes the best part, the decorating!

Stick to a colour scheme, a wide assortment
 of things adds interest.

 Balls and thick ribbon are great to play with.
 
 Remember to place items close to the
bottom for easy swatting, while laying down. 
 

tree15.jpg

CLEARLY THESE GUYS WILL HAVE A PROFITABLE FUTURE AS TREES AND THREATENED LAWSUITS VIE BACK AND FORTH IN THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS……

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For Iris and Fern’s step by step tree destruction with their tips and photos…..

go to A Cat’s Christmas