Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Christmas Carols For The Disturbed

December 21, 2006

Cross Posted by Stiknstein…has no mercy

Just recieved this in my email from one of my Brilliant but Disturbed friends….

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder – We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia – I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic – Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic – Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

6. Paranoid – Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
He knows when you’ve been sleeping….
He knows when you’re awake…..
He knows if you’ve been good or bad….

7. Borderline Personality Disorder – Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder – Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy – can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells

HAT TIP TO NGENESIS

A TOTALLY UNRELATED BUT FUNNY LINK……Teh Gheys Destroy Christmas!

Flamingo-on-Santa Violence

December 20, 2006

Flamingos_attack_santa_2

When will the madness end?

How many blow-molded plastic figurines must be sacrificed? How many polymer inflatables must be put down before this vicious cycle of violence is over? Surely Santa will retaliate. And where does that end? When there are finally no more left to kill?

How long must it be before the pink flamingo and air-driven
Santa realize that maybe they aren’t so different after all. Yes, one is hard-sided and staked to the ground while the other is lightly tethered and powered by a hairdryer.

But that is nothing compared to what they have in common, such as bringing joy to the face of a child, dressing up an otherwise drab yard, and being the repeated target of neighborhood vandals.

And really, shouldn’t that be enough?

J.

Cross posted at Planet Moron.

No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus

December 19, 2006

26953452With his obvious love of food and thick white beard, veteran Commack School District bus driver Ken Mott already looks the part, but apparently took things a bit too far for one parent who complained that the
Santa hat that he wears
on his route this time of year was upsetting his child who does not believe in Santa Claus.

So his supervisors told him to take it off.

Naturally, you are outraged at this latest action in the The War on Christmas. How on earth can these supervisors possibly think that telling Mr. Mott to take off his Santa hat will be nearly enough? Not when a single child might still find offense.

That is why, rather than give in on the issue and let him wear his hat, we instead call on the Commack School District to make the following demands of Mr. Mott:

  1. Shave.
  2. Absolutely no “being jolly” while on duty.
  3. If laughter does prove necessary, ensure that your belly
    in no way shakes “like a bowl full of jelly.”
  4. If said shaking persists, begin Atkins immediately.
  5. Saying “ho ho ho” is absolutely prohibited (unless
    quoting Jay-Z).

Finally, Mr Mott should re required to write an editorial for the school newspaper:

No, Virginia, there is no Santa Clause

Your little friends are right. They have been informed by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think rightly that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their minds. All minds are grand. In this small universe of ours man is a giant, in his intellect, as compared to the puny world around him, as measured by his ability to fully grasp the whole truth and knowledge.

No, Virginia, there is no Santa Clause. He’s a myth as certainly as love and generosity and devotion are myths, and know that they are absent and provide you no beauty and joy. Alas! How joyful would be the world if there were a Santa Claus! There would be childlike faith then, poetry, romance to make tolerable this existence. We would have enjoyment beyond sense and sight. The eternal light of childhood that once filled the world would be relit.

Believe in Santa Claus! You might as well believe in fairies! You can get your papa to hire men to watch all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, and when they do not see him what does that prove? That he does not exist! The only real things in the world are those that children and men can see.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, and that tells you all you need to know. Only clear visual evidence and material understanding can readily tell us about the world. Is it all real? In this world, yes, as long as you can measure and test it. No Santa Claus! Of course not! He’s dead, and has been dead forever. A thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to be dead.

J.

Cross posted at Planet Moron.

Daily Kos posts gruesome War on Christmas Drive by shooting pics

December 18, 2006

Cross Posted by Stiknstein…has no mercy

Who would have expected it from The Daily Kos !!!

As a founding member of the Coalition Of the War On the War On Christmas…….Stiknstein borrowed a few of the bored Kerry Presidential Exploratory Committee staff to dig into the matter…….

We believe this counters their editorial position that the War On Christmas is a Right wing conspiracy manufactured to boost ratings for Conservative Talk radio and the “FAUX” news channel. Why they would print damning eividence to the contrary has led us to wonder…..Is this pic real?….Clearly it’s not via Reuters, so it’s veracity shouldn’t be in question.

DAILY KOS EXCLUSIVE

_____________________

In the story, the Diaryist reluctantly admitted there were reports that the get away car “may have had a Kos Bumper sticker on it….

We at Stiknstein, Dumb Ox News the rest of the COWOWOC staff of legal age ex pages are proud to join with Daily Kos in exposing this ugly and little mentioned aspect of The War On Christmas:

THIS WAR ON YARD DECORATIONS…..

A little digging turned up even more evidence in this very REAL expose’…….

 _________________________________

We’ve been reassured this combat photo in the War on Christmas has not been doctored……Looks suspiciously like a deer to us!

 _______________________________________

While Stiknstein and The Dumb Ox News may differ editorially from Daily Kos, we applaud their honesty and forthrightness…..after all no matter what you may be celebrating…..Decorations are all about the KIDS…..RIGHT?

Kiddie decorated houses courtesy of UglyChristmasLights.com

In other WOWOC news today:

No War On Christmas?….V Dare sez…..HAH!
Quaker Dave at the QuakerAgitator adds a little ammo…..
SWAC GIRL with…The “War on Christmas” continues
And The World Net Daily has bullet points

This has been a presentation of the Coalition
Of the War On the War On Christmas.(COWOWOC)
We represent Dozens a gross of Bloggers who
will not stand buy and let the reason
for the season be.
(UNLESS YOU WORK AT BEST BUY)
If you would like to participate by crossposting
articles from your own blog….be on our blogroll, or invite us to be on FOX or CNN
CONTACT:
Dumb Ox News
OR
Stikguy at
stikguy@stiknstein.com

Convert or I’ll kill ya….Best video game evah……

December 15, 2006

Cross Posted by   stikNstein…has no mercy

LEFT BEHIND…ETERNAL FORCES
Better choose a side in the War on Christmas…..or else!

646478b.jpg

Filed under War On Christmas Toy Boycotts
Boy this is tough……what happens when secular Santa brings you a Christian video game….where your goal is to kill the secular non-believers…….
DANG….A Christmas conundrum……
WOOT…..The Rapture has come and gone….only Gay, Atheist, Muslim, Jew and
various other nonbelieving scum left……

Picking the side to play can be difficult. Join the dark side, hook up with the Antichrist and grab all the souls you can….

OR

Join the righteous, Convert the sinners who are willing……and
Kill all the rest.(though you do get extra spirit points if ya can get’em to pray)…uh…. before ya kill ‘em.

Damn….finally a video game for us Christians. Just seeing the smiles of little Billy and Susie will be uplifting as they look under the tree on Christmas morning to find they can be real Christian soldiers. Imagine their squeals of joy as they mow down with extreme prejudice, the non-believing Jews, Muslims and Catholics God left behind.

Left Behind Games’ president, Jeffrey Frichner, says the game actually is pacifist because players lose “spirit points” every time they gun down nonbelievers rather than convert them.
“(BUT)They can earn spirit points again by having their character pray.” .

DO YOU KNOW FOR SURE THAT THEY ARE REALLY ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS? OR ARE THEY JUST TRYING TO SAVE THEIR SCURVY BLACK INFIDEL HEARTS?
WHO CARES!!!!!
STIK SEZ….(gamer tip) If you can get enough of them to pray, your bonus spirit points will more than cover you if you have to kill ‘em later……. GOD HAS YOUR BACK…..HE’LL SORT ‘EM OUT……..

When asked about the Arab and Muslim-sounding names, Frichner said the game does not endorse prejudice. But “Muslims are not believers in Jesus Christ” — and thus can’t be on Christ’s side in the game. “That is so obvious,” he said. “You are fighting a defensive battle in the game,”….. Frichner, whose previous company produced Bible software, said of combatting the Antichrist. “You are a sort of a freedom fighter.”

Reviews however, have been split……

Jeff Gerstmann, senior editor at Gamespot.com, an online publication, said the game isn’t popular. The game itself, which Gamespot rated 3.4 out of a possible 10, has lots of glitches.
“And it’s kind of crazy,” Gerstmann said. “One of the evil characters is a rock musician. … If you get too close to him your spirit is lowered.”

But Plugged In, a publication of the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, gave the game a “thumbs-up.” The reviewer called it “the kind of game that Mom and Dad can actually play with Junior — and use to raise some interesting questions along the way.”

INTERESTING QUESTIONS?….YOU BET

Santa brought you the game…………
But which side is he really on?

This has been a presentation of the Coalition
Of the War On the War On Christmas.(COWOWOC)
We represent Dozens a gross of Bloggers who
will not stand buy and let the reason
for the season be.
(UNLESS YOU WORK AT BEST BUY)
If you would like to participate by crossposting
articles from your own blog….be on our blogroll, or invite us to be on FOX or CNN
CONTACT:
Dumb Ox News
OR
Stikguy at
stikguy@stiknstein.com

Warm, Fuzzy Holiday Feelings?

December 15, 2006

No words necessary… or sufficient!

santa seat

Seat tip to Random Yak

Killing the annual Christmas Tree…….

December 14, 2006

Cross Posted by stikNstein…has no mercy

We know some of you are not able (or willing) to deal with the hassle of Christmas tree shopping/installing/decorating……not to mention the mess of all those needles and tinsel when you have to take it down……..

Or maybe you’re one of those “LIVE tree” huggers that just can’t bring yourself to kill one for your holiday enjoyment.

Well, you probably realize the EPA has established new restrictions on the Bag Limits for wild Christmas Trees. Like many traditions that are tossed by the wayside in The War on Christmas…….Fewer and fewer Christmas tree hunters venture out after the first frost to hunt down and bag the limit of baby Frasier firs, White Pines, or even that elusive Colorado Blue Spruce.
And….. while rare….. you still may get a glimpse of a proud Dad driving home with that trophy tree strapped to the roof of the SUV

BUT MOSTLY….

THEY GROW ‘EM……LIKE CORN, PUMPKINS, AND,YES…BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

CORN:

_________________________

CHRISTMAS TREES:

 ______________________________________

PUMPKINS:

 _________________________________

CHRISTMAS TREES:

 ______________________________________

BRUSSEL SPROUTS:

______________________________ 

CHRISTMAS TREES:

__________________________________ 

BUT

AS A SPECIAL SERVICE…..
TO MAINTAIN OUR NEUTRAL CREDIBILITY…..
AND DEMONSTRATE WE DON’T TAKE SIDES IN THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS…..

Exclusive at the Coalition Of the War On the War ON Christmas…..
We recuited a few of the laid off Congressional Page Tipline phone answerers and had them scour the internet just for you……
We at COWOWOC believe we have found the solution…….

_________________________________________

DON’T BELIEVE US?……HEH…….GO HERE FOR YOUR FREE TREE!
(DISCLAIMER: only a few trees were killed in this endeavor…..they are in your printer.)

This has been a presentation of the Coalition
Of the War On the War On Christmas.(COWOWOC)
We represent Dozens a gross of Bloggers who
will not stand buy and let the reason
for the season be.
(UNLESS YOU WORK AT BEST BUY)
If you would like to participate by crossposting
articles from your own blog….be on our blogroll, or invite us to be on FOX or CNN
CONTACT:
Dumb Ox News
OR
Stikguy at
stikguy@stiknstein.com