They’re baaa-aaack. (The trees, that is.)

In an act as insensitive as it was non-inclusive, workers atSeattle-Tacoma International Airport began yesterday to defy management’s edict that all offense-causing Christmas trees be removed from the facility and started setting up their own Christmas-centric displays.

These wholly unsanctioned artificial evergreens, displaying no respect whatsoever for the fact that they do not directly aid in the celebration of holidays that are not Christmas, started appearing in places such as ticket counters which are leased by private companies and so beyond the reach of airport management.

As one writer pointed out, this is an international airport and so we must remove these “jingoistic billboards or anything that may offend someone from another culture.” After all, the last thing we want visitors to America seeing when passing through an American airport is anything having to do with America.

Except maybe for Starbucks.

As reported here on WOWOC over the weekend, the original decision to remove the trees came about after local Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky questioned the fairness of using public space solely for a display that would appeal to, at best, 90% of the American public. He did this in that grandest and most universally acknowledged of American traditions: By threatening a lawsuit. However, many local Jewish leaders were not happy with Rabbi Bogomilsky’s actions and the potential backlash with one noting, “This we do not need. Carter was bad enough. Now we have this too?”

As a result, Rabbi Bogomilsky dropped his threat to sue. Airport management then brazenly ignored the 0.1% of email strongly endorsing their position to remove the trees and once again reversed their decision, ordering last night that the peripatetic plastic plants be restored to the airport.

In addition to the renewed possibility that countless handfuls of airport patrons might take offense at these overt symbols of Christmas (assuming they have time between taking off their shoes, stuffing their shampoo into clear Ziplock bags and bidding a tearful goodbye to their checked baggage), there is the fear that this rebellion might spread beyond the Seattle-Tacoma area. What if people in Portland started running around setting up Christmas trees at local airports? Already there have been tannenbaum sightings as far east as Denver International where a panic nearly broke out over an early report that an actual nativity scene had been spotted next to an Au Bon Pain (but that just turned out to be an Amish family with a basket of croissants).

Burnxmastree What can you personally do to help put an end to this growing conifer crisis? Remove anything on your own property that could possibly be mistaken for a Christmas tree. Do you have evergreens of any kind? Burn them down just to be safe and replace them with Japanese maples or maybe a nice secular azalea. Under no circumstance should you leave any errant branches lying around lest a passing international visitor or other non-Christmas-celebrating individual mistake them for a festive garland and feel assaulted by your offensive display of tenuously-associated religiosity. As a further precaution, red bows are also to be avoided as are sleighs, wrapped presents and anything starting with “Yule,” including “tide” and “log.”

And for God’s sake, remember, it’s “Happy Holidays,” NOT “Merry Christmas.”

Because the only way we can possibly begin to learn to treasure the rich tradition of other cultures is to do our very best to pretend that we don’t have any.

Cross posted at Planet Moron.

Explore posts in the same categories: Holidays are for everyone

One Comment on “They’re baaa-aaack. (The trees, that is.)”

  1. They’re baaa-aaack. (The trees, that is.)

    Cross posted from The Coalition of The War on the War of Christmas:

    In an act as insensitive as it was non-inclusive, workers atSeattle-Tacoma International Airport began yesterday to defy management’s edict that all offense-causing Christmas trees …

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