A Heathen Blogger puts the Human in Humanistmas

Cross Posted by David Kleiner from his MySpace Blog

David is a pal of Billy Sunshine…..the nicest raving liberal on the West Coast……(and proud of it!)

 At COWOWOC…..WE REPORT…YOU DECIDE!

Report of the War against Christmas Study Group
Written For and Performed On The Billy Sunshine Show
Sundays, 3:00-5:00 PST
On the Radio at AM-540 KRXA, Santa Cruz, and Streamed Live on the
Internet

I am here to present a brief summary of the report of the War against
Christmas Study Group. Today, I saw a Salvation Army soldier at my
local K-Mart, brushed up against a Christmas tree outside the Penneys
at the mall, and had a cashier at Sears tell me to have a merry
Christmas. My fellow godless pagans, we are not winning the war to take
Christ out of Christmas! And we are losing it in the central front in
our war against this green and red menace, the American department
store, where we, along with the atheists at the UN and the progressive
heathen bloggers, must and will replace religious decorations, slogans,
and sloganeering with internationalist celebrations of universal
brotherhood. But that’s in the future. At the moment, the situation is
grave and deteriorating.

One of our worst enemies is the ACLU, which should stand for the
American Christ Lovers Union. Some Christian student can’t give out her
“Jesus is Christmas” cards in school, the ACLU sees that she can. They
defended Rita Warren, the “Lone Ranger of the Manger” whose life
mission is to put nativity scenes in public places. She tried to put a
plastic crèche in front of the government building in Fairfax,
Virginia. Kent Willis, executive director of the ACLU of Virginia says,
“The government cannot discriminate against her religious display any
more than it can take specific action to promote her religious
display.” What you talkin’ about Kent Willis?

There is no path that can guarantee success in the War Against
Christmas, but in this report, we make 79 recommendations, including:

1. Banning the word Christmas and replacing it with Humanistmas.
2. Rescheduling annual gift giving to February 29th .
3. Changing the following names and others like them: Christopher
Columbus will now be known as Don’tWearFur Columbus. Hans Christian
Anderson will henceforth be called Hans GayCouple AndTheirSon.
4. Changing the following names and others like them: Godiva chocolates
will be known as Kids’lleativa2 Chocolates, Waiting for Godot will be
called Waiting for Al Gore. The Godfather movie will be called The
Father, the Son They Pull Back In, and the Holey Sonny at the Toll Gate.
5. Replacing the excessive drinking Christians do during the Christmas
holiday with excessive drinking all year long. Never mind. they already
do that.
6. Putting the responsibility for winning the War on Christmas where it
belongs, on the Christians. To train Christians to kill the Christ in
Christmas, we call for redeploying our soldiers from the field and
increasing, at a corresponding rate, trainers selected from
secularists, trial lawyers, cultural relativists, liberals,
guilt-wracked Christians, Jews, and anyone who ever voted for John
Kerry, Ted Kennedy, or Barney Frank.

The forces for Christmas are aligning themselves against us. They are
sly. They are subtle. We think they’re up to something but we can’t sit
back and wait for the proof. We don’t want the smoking gun to come in
the form of a figgy pudding or 10 lords a leaping.

And remember, hating Christmas is not a hate crime.

Until next time, this is David Kleiner saying there is no better way to
put the Human in Humanistmas than by buying my latest CD, “This Human
Heart” at cdbaby.com/davidkleiner. They make great gifts any time of
year!

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2 Comments on “A Heathen Blogger puts the Human in Humanistmas”

  1. Billy Sunshine Says:

    It was great having you guys on the Billy Sunshine Radio Show! Would love you to join me again. And I’d like to invite all your readers (for and against the war on the war on christmas…or whatever…I get confused) to listen in at http://www.krxa540.com on Sunday afternoons 3 – 5 pacific time. And, of course, anyone should feel free to call in and argue with me — Iwill rave, but I am definitely nice — most of the time.

    And go take a listen to David Kleiner’s CD on his website….we think you’ll like it.

  2. dumb3ox Says:

    Anytime, Billy!

    David’s songs from This Human Heart can be listened to at:
    http://cdbaby.com/cd/kleiner
    With more info on the artist at:
    http://mysite.verizon.net/davidbet/index.htm

    Very nice tunes indeed…thoughtful, with twists.

    D. Ox


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